Is it just my Dh (or spouse)?

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#1
This may be geared more to the women, but men feel free to input also. Every year my Dh askes, what do you want for (insert appropriate occasion)?
And I give a very clear and detailed list of garden implements, tools, composters, water barrels etc. I even provide stores and websites that have the items bookmarked........

I get movies I will never watch (or ones he has already given me that I don't watch.) Watches I can't wear because I make the batteries go haywire (electrical impulses or something), or other inane items that if I wanted them I would have already bought them myself. His reasoning??? Never buy a woman appliances or tools for presents.........I have explained that If I ask it's okay, If I take the time to point them out, go for it and still he refuses to take the hit on the head, oops I meant hint. The reason I am bringing this up is I spent a good 45 minutes yesterday going over my wish list (very modestly priced) and today he came back with a bag from Best Buy....... Nothing on my list was from Best Buy, and as far as I know they do not have a garden center. Unless this has changed and I was not aware of it.

Sorry to vent, but I thought I might get a bit of sympathy here....:mad:
 

lynpenny

Super Moderator
Staff member
#5
Hey at least he is buying you something, I've had years when mine forgot, didn't have time, didn't know what to get me ect.
any gift is better than no gift.
 

Crabbergirl

Super Moderator
Staff member
#6
LOL! Ok here's my backwards hubby. When we young and first married I got a list of things to make any birde cry. a stove, a microwave, a hand gun, a vaccum cleaner, a lawn mower and I'll just stop there before it gets really get crazy. Anyway now that I would adore a new garden tool ( i have all new appliances I guess he is lost as to what to buy) or a simple hand picked basket of seeds I get this; "since I really don't know what kind to buy I thought you would like to buy yourself a new digital camera for Christma" Well that's great, finally something I wanted but I have to buy it. Hmmm guess I'll wait till the day after Christmas and treat myself to lunch too! Anybody care to join me in a new tradition?!?
 
#7
Well... my DH is a sweetie.. but just has no idea how to shop. He has always had our daughters or some other female relative help him out. I have told him over and over.. garden stuff is fine. I have given him genealogy books I am interested in, all sizes and prices of things.. but needless to say, it seems not to matter what I put on the list. I think he thinks if he buys what is on the list, then it won't be a ''surprise'' LOL

Nowdays we just get something for both of us for Christmas. Not as much fun, but then we get something needed. This year I think one thing might be a kitchen faucet1 LOL
 
K

Kale

Guest
#8
That is mine Now...Kozy Kitten...
But on my first birthday after we were married he came home with a really pretty .22 rifle! I wanted fresh cut flowers.Clearly stated what am I going to do with that!? He said I thought we'd go shooting,I said where in the back yard? *LOL
*lol I asked if he is not sure of a gift just ask I always have a list of some kind.
I have to admit I do love my .22 rifle, and had a blast shooting stuff*lol
No place to shoot now,but I do still love it.

He sometimes takes me so I can pick it. Here is the lasted thing he bought me! Will save me many hours of labor!

I'm in love....Now that's a GIFT Gardeners!

Shreds everything and anything I want,no more cutting sunflowers or Zinnias or processing food scraps for me! It all goes in there! (you have to get a friendly understanding with the machine and it will serve you like no 2 workers.)


Sass,
Maybe buy yourself what you can use (at or a little more then the value he spent, a bit more is for the sadness he briefly brought upon you) and bag his gifts and give them back to him come the next occasion for gifts :D

I think that will work.

Hang in there....... after you go shopping and let us know about all your new gifts you received!:D

Kale:)
 
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#9
Men and gifts ?!?!?! Is it that they have no idea or just don't care enough to listen and make a mental note of what you would really like them to bring home. But in their defense, most men don't go "shopping" they go to a store focused on picking up the one thing they need and getting the heck out of the store as fast as they can. Sass I think it is time to drag him to the store, pick out 4 or 5 items you would like for a gift and lay them out on a counter, telling him to pick out the appropriate number of gifts for you and walk away while he makes the selection. This way the gift will still be sort of a surprise for you and he won't be so overwhelmed.
 
#10
My hubby (notice I say hubby now and not honey as in our previous forum - we got married this year:)) always asks what I want too....and what really annoys me is I ask him the same question and never get an answer! I have two sons who ask as well - so, if there is a DVD or something like that that I want, and would buy, I wait and give them the info and my sons so appreciate it to make their life easier!
Back to hubby - so, I always put something sparkly on the list - and then we go to the jewellery store and I pick it out....he says he could never pick out what I like, so that is how we handle it. Ummm...I still don't have his list, but did his shopping a month ago. So folks - Christmas just would not happen without the loving touch of a woman .... giftwise, baking, decorating and organizing events to celebrate the season. But that's ok - it makes me happy to know I am making a good Christmas while I am able - for those I love.
PS - from time to time my honey will come home with a bouquet of flowers - that is so nice!
 
#12
I have all my shopping done except for DH.I have ask and begged for a hint of something he wants.In fact I sit him down last night and ask him what do you want or need for Christmas.He said I can,t think of one thing I want.I just don't believe he doesn't want something.
So as they say what goes around comes around he ask me the same thing .What do you want for Christmas and I being mad with him said I don't want or need anything.So he is on his own and I will recieve junk I don,t want and will take back and get the refund.I heard him ask our daughter what does Mom want I told her she better not tell him a thing.:)
 
#13
Congrats Jules! :) My son who's 24 said that his g/f wanted him to buy her some clothes as a suggestion for Christmas. She wrote down her sizes and he proceeded to lose the list. I'm so glad that he mentioned that to me because he could remember what size tops she wears and he assumed the pant size would be the same. I probably had the look of horror on my face and then superior amusement that he'd even think such a thing. I got him straightened out on that one while i'm thinking I don't think I'd want my husband picking out my clothes. Although he has had moments where he has and he's done alright.

We're probably exchanging new plumbing in the cellar this year. (Long story and I have a neighbor that we and about 8 other homes are not too crazy about even though we've never met.) Last year was roofing. But after we said we wouldn't get each other anything hubby says he got me something I wanted! Geez! I think I figured it out, but I'm not for certain. Now I have to figure out what to get for him.
 
#14
I'm taking CB shopping with me, then he can give everything to DH and say here, mums will like this and I can act surprised. CB now he is a present picker!!
 

bob

Administrator
Staff member
#15
LOL! Ok here's my backwards hubby. When we young and first married I got a list of things to make any bride cry. a stove, a microwave, a hand gun, a vaccum cleaner, a lawn mower and I'll just stop there before it gets really get crazy.
I can tell you one thing...

If I bought my wife a stove, microwave, vacuum and lawn mower, I sure as heck wouldn't be buying her a gun, lest she use it on me! ;)

Actually, I have bought her all of those items, and she loves her new Dyson for example, but I did NOT buy them for Christmas presents etc.

So, Crabber, what's the reast of the story? Did you beat the murder rap or did he forget to buy you any bullets? :D
 

bob

Administrator
Staff member
#16
"since I really don't know what kind to buy I thought you would like to buy yourself a new digital camera for Christma" Well that's great, finally something I wanted but I have to buy it...
My wife does that too, but it's because she knows I'm very particular about electronics etc. She knows that I spend days researching stuff on the web, and want this one instead of that one, since it's got something that I think is fantastic but to her is as much gibberish as "enhanced flux capacitor for time space continuum warping!"

She's also seen me deal with a fast talking salesman who tries to convince me why I need some other model instead of the one I want... Usually they fade fast when they realize I know exactly what I want and why I want it.

So, she does one of two things. She'll either find out exactly what I want and buy it or she'll give me the money and say "I know you wanted this, so here's the money, get the one you want..." Last year I got a call "I'm at the camera store, they have two Nikon flashes, which one is the one you wanted?"

She also claims that it's usually easy to figure out which one I want... Which one costs more? Yep, that's the one! (Not always true, but often enough...)

Personally, I think it's sweet, since while it takes away the surprise, it lets me select the one I prefer.
 
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bob

Administrator
Staff member
#17
Men and gifts ?!?!?! Is it that they have no idea or just don't care enough to listen and make a mental note of what you would really like them to bring home...
Probably some of both... But in men's defense, it can be difficult.

A few things are easy. I've yet to buy her jewelry that she didn't like.

I can usually figure out what perfum to buy too...

Other than that, it gets to be tougher. I usually buy her some books, again knowing her favorites. but that's about when I run out of ideas.

As for clothing, which would seem simple. Ladies, let me tell you that most men would rather tap dance in a mine field than buy a lady clothing. There's the obvious problem of so many choices. Even if we don't do the obviously stupid stuff (Hey, honey, look what I got at Victoria's Secret!) it's still tough to buy the right styles and colors.

Then there's the whole size issue. I know for a fact that my wife will wear a certain size in one brand, but then another brand will be a different size.

So, let's say I go out and buy a size 8 (whatever the heck that means). If she actually takes a 6 in that brand, she'll be thinking "What, does he really think I'm fatter than I am?" or if she wears a 10 then she'll say "It's a hint, he wants me to be thinner, he'd like me to be a size 8..." The real answer? I've got about as much clue as to what size 8 means as I do redading chinese.
 
#18
Okay gals,

My wife wants me to surprise her.............. I'm suposed to know what she wants and like all the time.

After 30 years I can finally pick up some suttle hints, but if your DH refuses to get you garden stuff, I think he wants to get stuff more feminine (ignoring your wishes) because he thinks that is what you really want or what he wants for you.

Kinda like a guy buying s*xy stuff for her to wear (me when I was young and dumb)when she is happy in her flannel jammies.

Make it very, very clear, you are interested in gardening and that is what you want period or it is going back to the store. None of this stuff like you do like this or driving by a McDonalds and asking if he is hungry..... if you are hungry or you like it, say so!!!!

Now, I need to get on some Christmas baking and yes, I decorate the tree by myself.

Why is it okay to get guys tools but not ladies :)

Ron
www.gardening-for-wildlife.com
 
#19
HTML:
[QUOTE]Make it very, very clear, you are interested in gardening and that is what you want period or it is going back to the store. None of this stuff like you do like this or driving by a McDonalds and asking if he is hungry..... if you are hungry or you like it, say so!!!![/QUOTE]
I'm Sorry, I'll be good:eek:
 
M

Mari-Jo

Guest
#20
Well, I take DH out and about in Nov., pick out a few things I "really" like, and I may end up getting "one" of the items I picked out, and the rest he picks out himself.........sometimes its not bad, other times, well..........I just thank him for taking the time to shop...(I will take it back later, and exchange it).....lol............last year he did buy me a "smoothie maker", and I didn't even ask for it, but sure enjoy it. Then to top it off, he will say.......I got all my Christmas shopping done, but don't look go look in such, and such a drawer, or the cabinet in the basement...........lol..................too funny...........no, I never go and look, but I had better get my garden prunners this year..................:D
 


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