Coping With Life's Changes

[Crabbergirl]

There are many of us going through life changes from joint replacement to caring for extended family, spouses working away from home and even dibilitating illness and diseases. I thought this might be a thread for ideas, support and comfort. We are a family of sorts and as in families we often want to offer support as well as seek support.

I look forward to being a part of your support network even if it is just to lend an ear while you cry, vent or share.

Hope your days are sunny and your burdens are light.

 

[Jade]

The one thing that is always certain is the life is chronically changing. I would like to have things stay the same for a while.

 

[Kya D]

Ditto Jade but as always my world is in a state of change most of the time.

 

[Randy]

Change is something you can count on. The oldest granddaughter here has moved out so there are only six of us in the house now. She will drop by for a meal on occasion though. She just got her driver's license yesterday and I'm glad to see that. I offered to take the girls for practice driving spins a long time ago, but told them they would have to get up before noon. They apparently weren't that interested. Mya still needs to get her license too as it is necessary to be able to get to a job in most cases. Alec will be 18 in September and he hasn't indicated any interest in driving to me at least. He is facing college in the fall.

 

[Crabbergirl]

Randy for the longest time ( unti she was 20) my Jessie wouldn't drive. She had been in a very bad accident at 16 and was just scared. I was to some degree thankful, even though it was a great imposition on me. However I never had the increase of insurance premiums due to a teenage driver. Lysle bought his first car before he had a license so I never had to pay for him either.
There maybe underlying issues in the delays.

Glad to see you are back home after your surgery.

 

[Randy]

I'm sure there are, Crabber. And I'm sure it is all about the money for insurance.

 

[mr_yan]

Yeah driving is over rated. I didn't get my license until I was 18. I had a bike and could ride everywhere I needed to go - school was only a 17 mile ride.

Here's a life change for my family. We have munchkin #2 due in only a few weeks.

 

[Wombat]

I didn't get mine until I was 23...although I could drive quite competently I just kept renewing my L plates lol. All my friends had licenses so I never really bothered. There's a young guy at work (24) who's also afraid to get a license too. He's never been in an accident but is just put off by the behaviour and attitude of people he sees behind the wheel when he's a passenger. He says a lot of folk turn from Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde once they get behind the wheel.

 

[lynpenny]

My son got his at 16 but drove on work related things back when he was 15. He was in a head on collision a couple of years ago and didn't drive again for 6 months then he only drove if he had to. Now he is back driving on the freeway but he hates it. He keeps looking for alternate routes so he doesn't have to do the freeway. I told he to do like I did and get right back into a car and drive after a bad accident. I was scared for a year or so but not now.

 

[RonsGarden]

Same here Lyn!
It took me a good 6 months before I felt safe driving again!
I had to force myself to drive again since I have too, and is not a matter of choice!
I did reduce the amount of driving and only go to town once a week and try to get evrything we need so I don't have to go back again for another week!
Other drivers make me nervous and am more sensitive and allert for the stupid things they do while behind the wheel!
It only takes one idiot to change your life, but with being more allert will save you and the other drivers! I know what to look for now to avoid another mishap!
Even now I still get a twinge in my ribs, but at least I do not have the flashbacks whenever I pass the spot where the accident occured!
Car accidents do change your life no matter how serious the accident was!
The best thing was to get back behind the wheel and not let the fear control you!

 

[Randy]

John, when I was quite young I saw a cartoon at the movies that depicted "Goofy", one of the Disney creations, as a driver. The cartoon was about that same kind of personality transition you speak of. I thought it was really funny, but as I have grown older it isn't nearly as funny. There really isn't much we can do about other people's driving habits except drive defensively. That will also irritate the drivers that follow us on the roads, but it is still better than suffering the consequences of carelessness. I don't believe I had even reached my teenage years when I first saw that cartoon.

 

[Kya D]

Being a farm girl I was driving at age 6 and I really was in no hurry to get my license...I had drivers ed at 15 but still didn't get my license until I got married. There just didn't seem to be a reason to before that. I drove everywhere anyway

 

[Wombat]

Randy I think I saw that cartoon as well lol. I've also been in a head-on collision with a drunk driver but we lived to tell the tale thank goodness. Perhaps I was fortunate but I didn't even worry about getting behind the wheel again after that. I did do a defensive driving course plus a couple of advanced courses too and they seem to have worked as I am much more aware now than I've ever been......with experience you can almost tell what the other driver is about to do on occasions.

 

[Randy]

It's kind of scary, but you can. A friend of mine was just lamenting several days back about a car passing him in a construction zone speeding excessively. Even though there was plenty of room to continue down the road (gravel) before changing lanes, the driver changed quickly and threw up lots of gravel that caused dings in the paint job. Totally unnecessary and totally inconsiderate.

 

[Crabbergirl]

Yeah driving is over rated. I didn't get my license until I was 18. I had a bike and could ride everywhere I needed to go - school was only a 17 mile ride.

Here's a life change for my family. We have munchkin #2 due in only a few weeks.

Oh My! That's a huge life change. CONGRTUALTIONS! What a wonderful event. Praying all goes well for wife and baby and of corse you too

 

[Crabbergirl]

Yes, the best thing to do is drive as soon as you can. I had a horrible one car accident with a power pole when I was just driving solo. Bad tires , bad rain , totaled car Anyway my dad made me drive home the next morning after we went to the junk yard. I was terrified but it was only that first drive that was bad.
Sometimes I wish I didn't drive. I was on a 4 lane going home and I was in the right ( slow lane) lane and there was a guy in the left lane blocking traffic. I didn't want to slow below the speed limit but I also did not want to speed up, so I just maintained. There was no one behind or in front of either of us so it wasn't a big deal....untill......I looked in my rear view and I saw a motorcycle coming up fast behind me, when he saw both lanes were blocked he shot around me on the right in the shoulder at about 100mph. I just knew that he was going to go down because of the rocky shoulder but he didn't he was gone and out of site. Could you imagine if that had been someone who was easily shaken or wasn't paying attention. It could have been so bad. At least he didn't go between the 2 cars like I have seen them do in the past.

 

[Randy]

I don't like it when someone paces me like that and I will usually slow down or speed up just to get him/her away from me.

 

[Crabbergirl]

I agree with you randy but I was on the highway and really wanted to go home so I was being stubborn thinking he would spped up.
I worry about these types of thing with Tim driving now, usually I drive but he will from time to time go somewhere without me. He has lost his confidence and driving is one thing he is slowly giving up. Which is such a great change from the guy who always had to be in control.

 

[Randy]

I have wondered what may be going through the minds of those around me especially in respect to my ability to get around. I know I am not nearly as steady on my feet as in years past. I am close to needing a cane all the time now and I will use mine especially when the ground is uneven. That third support point is a godsend.

 

[Wombat]

I recall the first time we drove in the US. It was certainly an interesting experience driving on the other side of the road, especially at roundabouts. We had to train our brains to look entirely the other way all the time, plus remember to pull out of driveways on the correct side of the road. We did a few dumb things but managed to get away with driving occasionally...without thinking..... on the wrong side of the road for a few seconds, luckily on these occasions there was no traffic! On the whole US & Canadian drivers are much more courteous and patient than the ones over here, in my limited experience anyway. The thing that caught us out the most was turning left after stopping at a red light, in my state that doesn't happen at all, I'm not sure if that rule applies in all states in the US.