Nancie, I am taking my time on this decision, because once I committ, I committ. That is just who I am. I gave a lot of thought to what you said, and I notice also that the topic has stopped dead after I gave my take on what is happening to me, so maybe it is best if I just keep my mouth shut. For the time being hubby isn't pressuring me, but I know that he is doing what he is doing for my wellbeing, so that I regain more self confidence and find myself again. He is an awesome guy and gets constant training on how to deal with people and their personalities. It is so hard when you have a disability that prevents you from working, then once you get it fixed people asked you how long since you have worked. I don't lie, why lie? Then they see you are out of it and don't even consider you. But I tried, I didn't want to hurt for so many years.
Coping With Life's Changes
- Thread starter Crabbergirl
- Start date
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The caves are cooler in Oregon, Janet. Sometimes a cave sounds pretty good, but have to fix up something to vent the smoke from the fire.
Amen to that.
Jill,
I think this thread is of interest only to those who are facing issues such as these. And most people who have never been here....in our shoes...don't really know what to say. It is a place most people don't want to face until they are there. I will admit , years ago I wasn't thinking about what if duhdudhdu happens. But when it slaps you in the face you have to stare back at it.
That is one reason I started this thread, kind of selfish , but I was looking for ideas on how to cope. I guess if you haven't been there , you might not have thought about it. I'm thinking about it now.
Meals on Wheels
What a great idea.and such a worthy cause. It is not only about the food, but welfare checks, a few minutes of companionship, and letting people know they are not forgotten. I did food drops back in the 80's and 90's with the kids and it was very rewarding. I think you would like that.
today
Year before last I had 2 jobs but it got to be too much and my boss gave me a little raise so I was able to quit the second one. Well now with Tim totally unable to work, I MUST get a second job. I didn't want something with a lot of stress or too much responsibility, I have that already. So I started thinking , where should I look. I go to Dollar General on a regular basis and when I ws there today I just ask if they hire P/T nights. She says, go one line print the app and bring it back, I will hire you. Well how great is that, but I was going to wait about a month before I did that.So I felt pretty good about her saying that just from me coming in the store. Min. wage at best but if I can get 15 hrs a week it will be about $100 a week more
I think this thread is of interest only to those who are facing issues such as these. And most people who have never been here....in our shoes...don't really know what to say. It is a place most people don't want to face until they are there. I will admit , years ago I wasn't thinking about what if duhdudhdu happens. But when it slaps you in the face you have to stare back at it.
That is one reason I started this thread, kind of selfish , but I was looking for ideas on how to cope. I guess if you haven't been there , you might not have thought about it. I'm thinking about it now.
Meals on Wheels
What a great idea.and such a worthy cause. It is not only about the food, but welfare checks, a few minutes of companionship, and letting people know they are not forgotten. I did food drops back in the 80's and 90's with the kids and it was very rewarding. I think you would like that.
today
Year before last I had 2 jobs but it got to be too much and my boss gave me a little raise so I was able to quit the second one. Well now with Tim totally unable to work, I MUST get a second job. I didn't want something with a lot of stress or too much responsibility, I have that already. So I started thinking , where should I look. I go to Dollar General on a regular basis and when I ws there today I just ask if they hire P/T nights. She says, go one line print the app and bring it back, I will hire you. Well how great is that, but I was going to wait about a month before I did that.So I felt pretty good about her saying that just from me coming in the store. Min. wage at best but if I can get 15 hrs a week it will be about $100 a week more
I have a problem because my dear hubby is a great earner and a great spender. Good thing that one of us is under control, ha. But he is now a much more controlled spender. We are saving about 30% of his income into our retirement and in more stable ways, not high return safer. I think that if he makes it he should be able to spend it. But I don't want to feel bad if he goes overbudget. If I get a job that income will go into an account in my name. I want to go to Italy and Holland some day. Italy for the romance, ha, how crazy is that at 51? And Holland because they have the best greenhouses in the world. I feel the same way about my hubby as you Nancie, you just gotta love them! I got lucky meeting this guy playing Bridge 13 years ago. I like feeling that!
Jade if I can get a job after graduating in December I too as looking to go to Italy. I also want to go back to London, go to Scotland, go to Germany, and maybe go to Istanbul.
But first comes a job and a trip to DC and New York. My granddaughter and I want to go to NY and DC if we can this summer after we graduate.
But first comes a job and a trip to DC and New York. My granddaughter and I want to go to NY and DC if we can this summer after we graduate.
Jill and Lynn, Italy sounds great and I too would love to go. It has all was been one of my top 3 picks for travel. So if you guys go, you must send me pictures! Holland too would be awesome.
Thanks for the support you guys! Tim got so upset when I told him about the second job, but there is nothing he can do about it. Poor guy I feel so bad for him. I talked to his SS case worker and she said a decision has been made but it has to come by mail. The case is in Quality Control Review right now and when they are done we will get a letter with the decision. Maybe....I won't have to get a second job. Fingers crossed.
This weekend was the first time in a very long time I saw a glimpse of the old Tim. He was actually joking around a little. The anti depressants are working I guess. He still has the pain and is not well but he acts better. He didn't sleep all weekend as he has been, but he still couldn't do much.
Thanks for the support you guys! Tim got so upset when I told him about the second job, but there is nothing he can do about it. Poor guy I feel so bad for him. I talked to his SS case worker and she said a decision has been made but it has to come by mail. The case is in Quality Control Review right now and when they are done we will get a letter with the decision. Maybe....I won't have to get a second job. Fingers crossed.
This weekend was the first time in a very long time I saw a glimpse of the old Tim. He was actually joking around a little. The anti depressants are working I guess. He still has the pain and is not well but he acts better. He didn't sleep all weekend as he has been, but he still couldn't do much.
Oh Jill , it would be great! I would love to gowith you. When do you think you will be going?
Right now I am lucky I can buy my way to work! This cruise( Sept 8) has been paid for , for almost 3 years or I wouldn't be going. All the extras, gas, parking, taxes and tips, is going on plastic which I hate. But I have to go. I can't get the money back , I can delay it, but then I will never go.
Right now I am lucky I can buy my way to work! This cruise( Sept 8) has been paid for , for almost 3 years or I wouldn't be going. All the extras, gas, parking, taxes and tips, is going on plastic
which I hate. But I have to go. I can't get the money back , I can delay it, but then I will never go.
Nancie,
You go girl! You and Tim need a break!
You go girl! You and Tim need a break!
Thanks Ron. It will definitely be a decompression session. I am excited, Tim not so much. I let him pick the excursions so he would get to do what he wants to do. Me I'm agreeable to just about anything. I really can't wait to take pictures. Seems stupid to go when we are so strapped for funds, but if I don't , I never will.
smiley_face2
Active Member
Hey Crabber, how are things working out? things have been difficult here lately, hubby and I are both needing major dental work done (6 crowns between the 2 of us, nightguards and a few fillings each) about 1/3 of our roof has to be replaced, and workers comp is in the process of deciding what hubby's pension is going to look like. We won't know until about march 2013! our disability insurance we have to cover the mortgage payment will be ending in either feb or march and we will have to start paying that again so it will be interesting to see how it all pans out. I keep looking at the help wanted ads every week. we will see.... like yours, my hubby seems to be on a pretty good balance of meds, but he still can't do much and not anything without supervision!!! argh. even with my cancer, and recovery from my treatment, all the decision making, appointment making, letter writing and form filling, cooking cleaning grocery shopping laundry..... is done by yours truly! It gets extremely tiring and overwhelming sometimes. I have my eye on a nice little cave in southern california to live in when it all gets too much!
to see how it all pans out. I keep looking at the help wanted ads every week. we will see.... like yours, my hubby seems to be on a pretty good balance of meds, but he still can't do much and not anything without supervision!!! argh. even with my cancer, and recovery from my treatment, all the decision making, appointment making, letter writing and form filling, cooking cleaning grocery shopping laundry..... is done by yours truly! It gets extremely tiring and overwhelming sometimes. I have my eye on a nice little cave in southern california to live in when it all gets too much!
Hey Janet!
Hey Jules!
Glad things are going well for you!
Yup!
In a blink of an eye everything can change!
Everything is going pretty well here, except for having to deal with constant fibro pain, life would be perfect!
Now that Fall is here it is time to head back to the Doctor for a check in and get checked out again. I do not like med changes, but know I need a few adjustments to help cope with the pain and periods of weakness and fatigue!
Over the years I have grown used to dealing with these three symptoms, but is at timestaxing and draining!
Hopefully a med adjustment will help to get me through the colder months!
Hey Jules!
Glad things are going well for you!
Yup!
In a blink of an eye everything can change!
Everything is going pretty well here, except for having to deal with constant fibro pain, life would be perfect!
Now that Fall is here it is time to head back to the Doctor for a check in and get checked out again. I do not like med changes, but know I need a few adjustments to help cope with the pain and periods of weakness and fatigue!
Over the years I have grown used to dealing with these three symptoms, but is at timestaxing and draining!
Hopefully a med adjustment will help to get me through the colder months!
Hey Crabber, how are things working out? things have been difficult here lately, hubby and I are both needing major dental work done (6 crowns between the 2 of us, nightguards and a few fillings each) about 1/3 of our roof has to be replaced, and workers comp is in the process of deciding what hubby's pension is going to look like. It gets extremely tiring and overwhelming sometimes. I have my eye on a nice little cave in southern california to live in when it all gets too much!
The caves are cooler in Oregon, Janet. Sometimes a cave sounds pretty good, but have to fix up something to vent the smoke from the fire.
Jules
Member
I'll take a cave too Smiley....we can be neighbours Less housework, cooking, cleaning, etc....gotta love simplicity Good to hear from you too Ron - think of my gardening buds often, even though I don't frequent the forum as often as I used too. Life changes....but the heart never forgets.
Less housework, cooking, cleaning, etc....gotta love simplicity Good to hear from you too Ron - think of my gardening buds often, even though I don't frequent the forum as often as I used too. Life changes....but the heart never forgets.
I'll take a cave too Smiley....we can be neighbours
Amen to that.
smiley_face2
Active Member
Hey everyone! Randy.... Lol! yes you are correct of course. There are the cliff dwellings in New Mexico too, but I have pretty bad vertigo now so that is probably not a good idea Jules, good to hear from you!
Ron, sorry you have to live with that, it is not a fun disease. My sister copes with it too. After about 10 long distance phone calls and a lot of shuffling, I finally got the upcoming 3 appointmens we have coming up in the city down to 2 seperate days. MRI and follow up for me, dental surgery for hubby. I got a tentatively clean bill of health, but I still have this MRI to do. fingers crossed Did I even mention our family doctor of 30 years is leaving to go back to England. His father is 90 now and it is time for him to become the Lord of the family estate We are now trying to find a new family dr. not easy in this time of doctor shortages.
Jules, good to hear from you! Ron, sorry you have to live with that, it is not a fun disease. My sister copes with it too. After about 10 long distance phone calls and a lot of shuffling, I finally got the upcoming 3 appointmens we have coming up in the city down to 2 seperate days. MRI and follow up for me, dental surgery for hubby. I got a tentatively clean bill of health, but I still have this MRI to do. fingers crossed
Did I even mention our family doctor of 30 years is leaving to go back to England. His father is 90 now and it is time for him to become the Lord of the family estate We are now trying to find a new family dr. not easy in this time of doctor shortages.
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